As of Saturday, November 30th 2013, the following are the cream of the crop sketches from the first few weeks of THE PETE,, HOLMES SHOW.
Those sketches I’ve already written about, because they were released first online, are not qualified for the following list. Because we’ve already covered those a month ago.
I will provide those links here, so that you can refresh yourself on the amazing sketches released before Pete Holmes’ show began…
WATCH GOOD WILL HUNTING WITH BATFLECK – Following the news that Ben Affleck is our new Batman, Pete Holmes quickly put his undeniable Batman impression to use.
After my assorted gaming past, my glorious return the gaming came in 2013!
WIND WAKER is a great classic game, either on Gamecube or in HD on the WiiU
I bought a WiiU in February, but even the newest Nintendo system couldn’t stir the gamer in me. It never helps that Nintendo rarely releases an exclusive A-List at system launch.
NINTENDO LAND, which came with the system, was good for a laugh due to new ways to play mini-games with the “WiiU Gamepad Controller” (official name according to Nintendo). It was a lot like RAYMAN: RAVING RABBITS; it’s fun to play with a new innovative controller, but mini-games get old fast.
Preface for the following list: I can only judge the games I’ve played, and, returning to gaming, the five below are about half of all the games I have experienced this year. There were others, like THE LAST OF US, which were critically acclaimed, but did not hold my attention the way these five games did.
Tying it all back to Nintendo, I assume SUPER MARIO 3D WORLD would be worthy of the list, as would THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: A LINK BETWEEN WORLDS for 3DS. I just won’t get those until Christmas at the earliest because I’m poor as fuck!
If I waited, then how will you know which games are the best gift for the gamer in your life?
As I grew up, I slowed and then all but stopped gaming during my ‘college through early adult’ years. But for my generation, gaming isn’t a kids’ business, just as comic books and graphic novels are for adults too (often too graphic, no pun intended, for lil’ kiddos).
So, in this, the year 2013, I finally fell back into gaming.
All I remember is Peter Weller as said Robocop, a great actor who has even recently added great roles to his roster as Batman in THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS and Admiral Marcus in STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS.
But a new millennium means a new Alex Murphy aka Robocop, Joel Kinnaman. Kinnaman’s biggest credit that I recognized on IMDB is AMC’s THE KILLING.
Don’t fear! The supporting cast is phenomenal with Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury in AVENGERS), Gary Oldman (Commissioner Gordon in Nolan’s DARK KNIGHT Trilogy), and Michael Keaton (Batman in Tim Burton’s 1989 BATMAN). The hilarious Jay Baruchel (THIS IS THE END, TROPIC THUNDER), the creepy chameleon of an actor Jackie Earle Haley (Rorschach in WATCHMEN), and Abbie Cornish (LIMITLESS) round out the cast.
Unfortunately, trailers for all the X-MEN movies have looked amazballs, but only X-MEN: FIRST CLASS has delivered. Which is odd, because Wolverine is the best of the X-Men, and he is literally in FIRST CLASS for a single line.
THE WOLVERINE was okay, but it still doesn’t hold a candle to FIRST CLASS.
Perhaps, combining the best X-Men cast, that of FIRST CLASS, with some extreme Wolverine action will be the perfect cocktail.
My favorite of the X-Men actors, Michael Fassbender as youthful Magneto.
I’ve enjoyed the comedic/acting stylings of Jeff Goldblum since I was a child.
What would JURASSIC PARK be without Ian Malcolm? (He was my most favorite character!… “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”)
Ian Malcolm was always a pimp, even when he was nearly crippled by a fucking T-Rex, yo!
Would JURASSIC PARK: THE LOST WORLD be entertaining at all without Jeff Goldblum? (Again as Ian Malcolm.)?
Answer: No, because gymnast girls can’t beat velociraptors. And Vince Vaughn is horribly miscast.
Jeff Goldblum was as big as Will Smith! Before Will Smith was the biggest actor ever…
Who would have helped Will Smith and Bill Pullman save the entire planet in INDEPENDENCE DAY? After all, Will Smith can’t save the Earth without a partner, like Agent K… or Jeff Goldblum!
I even like HOLY MAN because of Jeff Goldblum. Eddie Murphy was okay… (Sorry, Eddie!)
But these were all from my childhood years. Great performances yes, with lasting impressions (JURASSIC PARK is one of my top five favorite flicks), but somehow, since the 90’s (the 1990’s, kids!), Goldblum has gotten greater…and far more funny… with age.
This is the story of Jeff Goldblum’s effect on my adult life…
I own many masks; Batman, Christopher Nolan’s version of Bane, Spider-Man, and two (yes, two!) Captain America masks (old school with the winged ears and new-school MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS helmet style mask – function over form…). But those ain’t Halloween costumes. That’s just my private stash of geeky masks on foam heads.
Last year, I was the Joker, Heath Ledger’s joker, with perfect face make-up that had many children second guessing whether or not they should approach to take candy.
I like to watch my NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS every year (though I also watch it round Christmas-time), but there is only one film that truly gives Halloween any meaning…
1996’s THE FRIGHTENERS! Produced by Robert Zemeckis (BACK TO THE FUTURE). Directed by Peter Jackson, pre-LORD OF THE RINGS. Michael J. Fox’s last film before he succumb to parkinson’s.
Yet, it is one of the most underrated comedy/thriller/horror movie of all time.
Before I say anything else, I must put forth this fact! The Russo brothers (Anthony and Joe) who I most love for directing countless episodes of my FAVORITE PIECE OF MEDIA EVER, ARRESTED fucking DEVELOPMENT have directed this film! (I also love the pair for directing some great eps of COMMUNITY.) Now…
Captain America: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Seems like it could have been an alternate title for the film, considering the trailer has very little of the Winter Soldier in it.
I’m just pleased as punch that we have a trailer for my favorite Avenger, Steve Rogers (Chris Evans)… aka Captain America’s second lone outing. And it is fucking sweet! Less superhero antics, more thriller/spy type action… with 2 superbeings and an agent with custom made wings…
Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce
As stated previously, Captain America’s not that alone with Agent Romanov (Scarlett Johansson), Maria Hill (Cobie Smulders), Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), The Falcon (Anthony Mackie), and Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce, all along for the ride. A big S.H.I.E.L.D. fiesta.
The Captain’s New Clothes
IMDB also lists Emily VanCamp as Peggy Carter descendent and longtime comic ally to Steve Rogers, ‘Agent 13.’
Even Peggy (Hayley Atwell) and young Howard Stark (Dominic Cooper) are listed, leading the the awesome conclusion there will be at least a few flashbacks to Captain America’s WWII days.
The world has changed, and Steve Rogers is still getting used to it (though he does have his updated suit of stars). Rather than punishing evil after it happens, S.H.I.E.L.D. and Nick Fury are all about preventing terrorism. Is Rogers too idealistic? Because Nick Fury says that S.H.I.E.L.D. sees the world as it is, not as they want it to be.
“This isn’t freedom, this is fear.” – Steve Rogers
After firing Wolverine because a character with a metal spine is useless against arch-nemesis Magneto, it’s time for Professor Xavier to go down the X-Men roster to fire the next useless mutant.
A Chinese man named Chan can create fire from nothing, in the palm of his hand.
(Like Doc Ock says in SPIDER-MAN 2, “The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand!”)
Chan is approached by a mysterious woman in a flower dress. She convinces him to take on a superhero-esque name and show off his powers. After all, as she says, no one knows the name Steve Rogers, but everyone recognizes Captain America.
So, Scorch is born. (The girl in the flower dress’s idea).
Apparently becoming a superhero or supervillain is an important lesson in branding.
The first CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER Teaser… which also hangs in my office! Splush!
It’s here!
It’s HERE!
IT
IS
HERE!
The new poster for CAPTAIN AMERICA: WINTER SOLDIER is here… and it is S.H.I.E.L.D. heavy.
The good Capt. is in a S.H.I.E.L.D. aircraft, overlooking the S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier… and Washington D.C.
Early word on the movie is that it is more of a “thriller” than your typical superhero film, just as CAPTAIN AMERICA: FIRST AVENGER was more of a war movie.
Did I mention Captain America is my favorite Avenger? Well, he is. He most definitely is.
We’ll know even more when the first Teaser Trailer hits the web tomorrow (Thursday, October 24th).
The future is now! And ‘now’ is the age of “Menu” TV! Between Netflix, Hulu (free Hulu, not even Hulu+), iTunes and/or Amazon Instant play, you can watch every show you love, and NEVER pay for any sort of cable service again!
Trust me, I’ve lived using the “Menu” model of TV for years, last paying for Time Warner Cable in 2009. In my past 3 years in Colorado, I have NEVER paid for Comcast (besides the internet service I am on now) and have still watched all my favorite shows from BREAKING BAD to AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. to IMPRACTICAL JOKERS.
My Days as an NBC Page. I put the ‘cock’ in Peacock, baby!
During my year at NBC Universal as an NBC Page (yes, like Kenneth on 30 ROCK), I learned a great deal about cable. It didn’t hurt that I was working there during the period in which GE handed off the NBC keys to Comcast.
The basic idea behind cable is this; you pay the cable company (Time Warner, Comcast, etc) and a certain fraction of your payment goes to each and EVERY network. (Well, each corporate conglomerate that owns channels: Time Warner, Fox, Viacom, Disney, and Comcast’s NBC Universal gets paid.)
Based on the viewership of each channel, your money is distributed accordingly. ESPN is a channel that always reaps a big percentage of the pie for Disney. If MTV is having a good year due to shit like JERSEY SHORE, than Viacom gets a bigger cut.
You are paying for every channel! Every show! Even the ones you never watch!
And the show/channel you like the best may only be getting pennies compared to the shit you can’t stand.
But, with the budget of College Humor and ‘The Pete Holmes Show,‘ Mr. Holmes may have made his best BADMAN video yet.
‘Ex-Men: Wolverine’ from THE PETE HOLMES SHOW
And it involves his new friend Superman, in anticipation of Warner Bros. feeble attempt to unseat THE AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON as 2015’s #1 movie in the world.
Check out the amazing sketch, BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN, starring Pete Holmes as Batman, after the jump.
Another week, another MARVELous (sorry for the pun…) episode of AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D.
Former S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Mindy
In ‘Eye Spy,’ Coulson and the gang track down one of his old proteges, Agent Mindy, long thought dead, more recently appearing as a turncoat with superpowers. Not only is she a skeleton from Coulson’s past, but she can see skeletons with her new gift of X-Ray vision.
Rather than going into detail surrounding the synopsis, in this ‘issue’ I simply want to cover the broad strokes/themes of the season and how they play out in this ‘Eye Spy.’
You are welcome to watch the episode for yourself, for free, on Hulu, if you have not seen it already.
In the Pilot (first) episode, we had a shady organization attaching a Extremis style centipede on human subjects to create superhumans.
In the second episode, ‘0-8-4,’ it seemed the villain was simply Coulson’s old Peruvian contact whose government commissioned a weapon from Hydra decades ago.
I wrote an ‘article’ similar to this several days ago, but was too specific on which company I attacked, so this time, let’s just say I worked as a manager at ‘major theater chain.’
We must see your films at a theater, Steven? Easy for you to say, rich boy.
As further preface to this post, I must say I once prescribed to my favorite director, Steven Spielberg’s view on watching films; a film MUST be seen on the big screen. As Spielberg has said, he doesn’t direct movies for a home theater, iPad, or what-have-you. He directs all his films as if they will only be seen at your local movie theater.
Great idea! If you work at a movie theater and get free movies… or you are wealthy.
Movie prices are higher than ever. A regular, 2D screening of a film after 4pm on a weekday or anytime during the weekend (and holidays) at my closest theater is $10.50. That’s in Denver. When I lived in LA, it was closer to 13.50.
Again, I come to you, bringing tidings of Pete Holmes, who will soon have his own show, THE PETE HOLMES SHOW, premiering on Monday, October 28th, on TBS (a channel that really doesn’t know funny at all… yet).
I am not paid to promote Pete Holmes (any accusations would be ridiculous for a website with such low readership); I am just a giant fan, both of his BADMAN videos and his excellent Podcast that puts Marc Maron’s WTF to shame, YOU MADE IT WEIRD WITH PETE HOLMES. His E*Trade baby ain’t too terrible either.
While ramping up for the impending premiere of his show, Pete Holmes has put up two hilarious sketches, both from the comic universe; taking pot shots at Marvel and DC.
First, Pete Holmes returns as Batman in his ‘Teaser’ for BATMAN VS. SUPERMAN.
Not his best appearance as Batman (see GOOD WILL HUNTING with Batfleck), but still, not bad. I really do owe my own impression of Christian Bale’s Batman to the one, the only, Pete Holmes!
His greater sketch of late, has to do with a metal Marvel hero with a love of the expression, ‘Bub.’
But seriously, ‘Calvin and Hobbes’ is surely the greatest comic strip of all time; written at a level children can enjoy yet transcending adult themes being deeply rooted in philosophy. Through the use of Calvin’s childhood imagination the comic strip also transcends genres; from outer space adventures to serious strips where the style changes completely (see below).
Calvin plays house. Why so serious? (Because it looks awesome!)
It’s certainly my favorite comic strip. I read it as a child and enjoy it on a deeper level today.
It’s no secret that I am a HUGE Benedict Cumberbatch fan, a member of a group of fans often referred to as Cumberbitches. I’m not gay (I like how every straight man has to clarify that, yet gay people never have to preface with ‘Now, I’m not straight…’), not that there is anything wrong with that. But I do have a big ole’ man crushes on Cumberbatch (and Ryan Gosling…).
Sherlock Holmes
SHERLOCK, TINKER TAILOR SOLDIER SPY, and STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS are all golden, due to, in a big part, Cumberbatch’s performances.
Khan
As I said in my last post, my favorite scene in INTO DARKNESS is Khan’s speech about his crew, as he sheds a legitimate tear. The darkness he brings to Sherlock Holmes is equally impressive, causing me to watch every episode (especially ‘The Great Game,’ ‘A Scandal In Belgravia,’ and ‘The Reichenbach Fall’) countless times… also resulting in countless tears (I get damn emotional about my movies and TV. It’s cathartic.).
Julian Assange
I even want to see the next two chapters of THE HOBBIT, even though though the first one bored me to tears (again, I cry), just because Cumberbatch plays Smaug and the Necromancer. Likewise, I can’t wait to see THE FIFTH ESTATE, even though I don’t give a shit about wikileaks. The man is a chameleon, one of the few actors working today that disappears into the role.
Stay with me now; there’s an amazing video after the jump!
I may be an obsessive geek (I am), but whenever I am down, lately (since it’s Bluray release) I watch my favorite scene from STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS. The characters stir up emotions I could only hope to feel.
The best scene of the summer (or year?) is the conversation between Captain Kirk and Khan in INTO DARKNESS.
I’ve watched it countless times this fall, whether drunk… or sober… really, whenever I need an escape.
BREAKING GEEK Radio: The Podcast 