Since When Was Jeff Goldblum So Cool? (Since 4-Ever! Yo!)

I’ve enjoyed the comedic/acting stylings of Jeff Goldblum since I was a child.

What would JURASSIC PARK be without Ian Malcolm? (He was my most favorite character!… “When you gotta go, you gotta go.”)

Ian Malcolm was always a pimp, even when he was nearly crippled by a fucking T-Rex, yo!
Ian Malcolm was always a pimp, even when he was nearly crippled by a fucking T-Rex, yo!

Would JURASSIC PARK: THE LOST WORLD be entertaining at all without Jeff Goldblum? (Again as Ian Malcolm.)?

Answer: No, because gymnast girls can’t beat velociraptors. And Vince Vaughn is horribly miscast.

Jeff Goldblum was as big as Will Smith! Before Will Smith was the biggest actor ever...
Jeff Goldblum was as big as Will Smith! Before Will Smith was the biggest actor ever…

Who would have helped Will Smith and Bill Pullman save the entire planet in INDEPENDENCE DAY? After all, Will Smith can’t save the Earth without a partner, like Agent K… or Jeff Goldblum!

I even like HOLY MAN because of Jeff Goldblum. Eddie Murphy was okay… (Sorry, Eddie!)

But these were all from my childhood years. Great performances yes, with lasting impressions (JURASSIC PARK is one of my top five favorite flicks), but somehow, since the 90’s (the 1990’s, kids!), Goldblum has gotten greater…and far more funny… with age.

This is the story of Jeff Goldblum’s effect on my adult life…

This whole blog is a lesson in pimpin' it with the Blum!
This whole blog is a lesson in pimpin’ it with the Blum!

The first appearance Jeff Goldblum in my almost-adult life was his fantastic, eccentric role in THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU. Even that, I under-appreciated until returning to the film as an adult; post college. It has always been my favorite Wes Anderson film, and though Bill Murray and Willem “I’m Sick of Being on B-Squad!” Dafoe knock it out of the park, Goldblum is the best part as Zissou rival Alistair Hennessey.

Goldblum is the blue alien. Still pimpin' it! Gettin' laid!
Goldblum is the blue alien. Still pimpin’ it! Gettin’ laid!

Then, post-college, while living in LA, one fateful night, my friend Abe and I watched EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY. This film predates even 1993’s JURASSIC PARK, released the year of my birth, 1988 AD. Isn’t that movie a hoot! A very underrated, strange… very strange… hoot!

In EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY, Goldblum plays a blue alien, who, when not blue, finds, in fact, that Earth girls are easy. Sorry, ladies.

Check out that versatility! From alien in EARTH GIRLS ARE EASY to alien killer in ID4.

Funny, funny, strange, strange 80s movie (that’s the 1980’s, kids!).

Even more recently though, in the last month, I discovered the true potential of the comedic stylings of the Blum (I wish I knew him well enough to call him ‘The Blum’).

Goldblum and Kroll as Ruxin and Son.

As my roommate and I made our way through FX’s THE LEAGUE, to our delight, we were treated to more Jeff Goldblum! Goldblum plays the father of Rodney “Don’t call me Rodney” Ruxin (Nick Kroll), Rupert Ruxin. Jeff Goldblum has an uncanny likeness to Nick Kroll, and is absolutely hilarious as his father in the two episodes in which he has appeared. Just check out the above GIF to confirm perfect casting.

What a treat! Having Goldblum appear in one of my favorite shows as one of the most funny characters! (Bob Odenkirk aka ‘Saul Goodman’ was also great as a mall owner, in the very same episode as Goldblum’s, titled “A Krampus Carol.”)

Jeff Goldblum as Chef Goldblum

Finally, tonight when I sat down to sample TIM AND ERIC’S BILLION DOLLAR MOVIE (which I am half-watching now), I was greeted by Chef Goldblum, played by… you guessed it… Jeff Goldblum! More Goldblum comedy gold! Brief gold, but gold the same!

Now, I’ve never seen his other classic, THE FLY. My research into Goldblumism also reveals he has also been on comedy shows like PORTLANDIA and NTSF:SD:SUV.

It looks like I have some Goldblum-digging left to do! (Super lame pun intended… and necessary for preceding sentence to make an sense.)

So, where would we… or I… be in a world without Jeff Goldblum?

I’d rather never know. It may be a world without joy… but it would definitely be a world without Goldblum.

Go ahead, Geek out! What Do YOU Think?

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