It’s Time To Cancel Cable! And DirectTV! And Dish Network! Etc.!

My favorite IMPRACTICAL JOKER, Q, also from the genius podcast TELL 'EM STEVE-DAVE
My favorite IMPRACTICAL JOKER, Q, also from the genius podcast TELL ‘EM STEVE-DAVE

Do you pay for cable? DirectTV? Dish Network? (Is Dish Network still a thing?)

Fool of a Took!

The future  is now! And ‘now’ is the age of “Menu” TV! Between Netflix, Hulu (free Hulu, not even Hulu+), iTunes and/or Amazon Instant play, you can watch every show you love, and NEVER pay for any sort of cable service again!

Trust me, I’ve lived using the “Menu” model of TV for years, last paying for Time Warner Cable in 2009. In my past 3 years in Colorado, I have NEVER paid for Comcast (besides the internet service I am on now) and have still watched all my favorite shows from BREAKING BAD to AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. to IMPRACTICAL JOKERS.

My Days as an NBC Page
My Days as an NBC Page. I put the ‘cock’ in Peacock, baby!

During my year at NBC Universal as an NBC Page (yes, like Kenneth on 30 ROCK), I learned a great deal about cable. It didn’t hurt that I was working there during the period in which GE handed off the NBC keys to Comcast.

The basic idea behind cable is this; you pay the cable company (Time Warner, Comcast, etc) and a certain fraction of your payment goes to each and EVERY network. (Well, each corporate conglomerate that owns channels: Time Warner, Fox, Viacom, Disney, and Comcast’s NBC Universal gets paid.)

Based on the viewership of each channel, your money is distributed accordingly. ESPN is a channel that always reaps a big percentage of the pie for Disney. If MTV is having a good year due to shit like JERSEY SHORE, than Viacom gets a bigger cut.

You are paying for every channel! Every show! Even the ones you never watch!

And the show/channel you like the best may only be getting pennies compared to the shit you can’t stand.

Snooki from JERSEY SHORE
Snooki from JERSEY SHORE

Don’t like sports? A big chunk of your check is going to ESPN anyway.

Hate reality TV? Well, you are paying for HONEY BOO BOO, DUCK DYNASTY, and anything starring Snooki.

Why in the world are you paying for shit you don’t watch?

I agree, life without cable programs is not a life worth living. I’d die without my ARCHER, IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA, BREAKING BAD, SOUTH PARK, and WORKAHOLICS… but I don’t pay my cable or dish provider a large sum for those shows AND others I’d rather die than watch.

It’s all about “Menu” TV, or choosing the shows you want to watch and either paying for them by the show on iTunes or Amazon Instant Play, or getting them for free on sites like Hulu or (which, as the name suggests, really only helps you with SOUTH PARK).

Pay for what you want to see, don’t give a cent to shows/channels you don’t.

Besides, who likes waiting for the cable company? Or dealing with the monopoly they have in each area of the US?

Your favorite show is just a click away. Even if you can’t watch it for free on Hulu (Hulu doesn’t cover a lot of Cable Shows), if you’re willing to pay for cable, then why not buy your favorite show on iTunes? At least then, all your money goes to that show (… and Apple…).

Blake, Adam, and Ders love their computers... but you don't have to!
Blake, Adam, and Ders love their computers… but you don’t have to!

“I don’t like watching shows on my computer,” you may say.

Who says anything about watching it on your computer?

PS3 and most Bluray players allow you to watch Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Instant play on your TV. Don’t have Apple TV for iTunes? Neither do I! Just plug your computer into your TV with a good ole’ HDMI cable for HD ARCHER a la’ carte via iTunes! (It’s how I’ve watched every season of the show.)

When you win, cable loses! Help me snuff out the horrible monster known as Cable! (Or Dish!)

Your fellow geeks (and mankind) are counting on you!

24 thoughts on “It’s Time To Cancel Cable! And DirectTV! And Dish Network! Etc.!

  1. I would do this in a heart beat if they carried Pittsburgh Sports teams. The Pens, Steelers, and to so degree the Pirates. I watch racing also and can’t get those things with the above mentioned. I do use the computer to watch Adult Swim. Good ole’ HDMI.


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